dcfish Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer and then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you will have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily &recycle. It is called the 401-Keg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcrome04 Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 What if one prefers glass bottles?????? lol. HOW DO I FUND MY RETIREMENT NOW!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEXIRX330 Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 Investments... First word to come to mind????????? GONE ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nc211 Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer and then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you will have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily &recycle. It is called the 401-Keg. *NOTE OF CAUTION* We (being he) bears no responsibility for the late-night "ohhh snap, I gotta' have that" infomercial purchases that have been reported in some investors of such plan, therefore wiping out all potential profits realized upon the infusion of said recyclable materials. Therefore, it is this policy holder's opinion to study and review all documentation thuroughly before making any decisions, and eat a big bag of Cheetos while doing so, which shall normally have said investor on the toilet during those crucial "ohhh snap, I gotta' have that" moments. It is a much safer bet to acquire the "ohhh damn, that's burning my butt-cheeks" method of secondary investing under this plan (see Cheetos), then the "ohhh snap, I gotta' have that". Or you could end up with a dozen Hulk Hogan Turbo Thunder Twister-Mixers, like said author of this disclaimer. PS: The phone-s*x lady records the conversations too, so giving a false name an trying to argue it wasn't you when the bill comes, doesn't work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nc211 Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 Investments...First word to come to mind????????? GONE ! Investor 1: Which one would you rather be: the sh*t or the fan? Investor 2: Does it really matter? Investor 1: Not really. But at least we're not the bug or the windshield. Investor 2: Not yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEXIRX330 Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 Investments...First word to come to mind????????? GONE ! Investor 1: Which one would you rather be: the sh*t or the fan? Investor 2: Does it really matter? Investor 1: Not really. But at least we're not the bug or the windshield. Investor 2: Not yet. :D I am in it for the long haul. Most of my losses are paper not realized losses. It sucks looking at it...but I just keep thinking I am 29 and this is a great buying opportunity. So I am dumping as much as I can in to my retirement account at work. As far as my individual stocks that I was tinkering with on my own...I did take some losses that I can claim on this years taxes. Yanked most of it out before the SH*T hit the fan...but still the market was down anyway. About 29% in losses...Oh well...beats 99.9 - 100% in losses. Now have very little in stocks, and have a little in conservative mutual funds... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eatingupblacktop Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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