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Nc's Humor


nc211
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Thought I would share a little of NC's nutty humor. I sent this to my mother inlaw this morning, replying to an email about her daughter's pregnancy.

"You don’t have to tell me about those hormones, trust me! I’m lucky to still be alive! After months of hearing “I feel like a whale” and now “I’m on my 54th ounce of water, I’m floating”, I’ll be lucky if my wife even lets me in the house soon. Now, one thing I want to make clear with ALL the ladies of this family. Now that we know it’s a boy, boys will be boys, and the men cannot, shall not, and must not, be held accountable for certain “skills” such men of such family may or may not teach such boy. And, as such, seniority rules in terms of the severity of blame to be issued. Having that said, Michael will be blamed for all farts, burps, and boogers. Father will be blamed for certain misplaced whacks to the shins by baby. Grandpas will be blamed for ALL disobedience behavior created under the falsehood of “go ahead, your father use to do that too, and I loved it!” Additionally, and as the seniority chain of blame dictates, Momma’ shall be responsible for all expenses required to conquer, dominate, and destroy Barbie (and known associates), the color pink, cutie little things that could get baby beat up by the local bully, and anything that has anything to with Martha Stewart. Grandmas, please refer to guidelines set for Grandpas, as Mom & Dad will make no distinction between those who promote such activities, and harbor those who promote such activities. Furthermore, any attempt to “democrat” the boy shall be met with smelly stockings at Christmas!

However, all donations to college fund, car fund, and parents run for cover in the Bahamas fund, shall be granted one free pass per $250 donated (subject to change in connection to inflation levels deemed appropriate by Father). I am currently looking into making the baby’s name a non-profit organization to aid in such donations for tax deduction purposes.

Think I’m ready to be a dad? Me neither… "

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Furthermore, any attempt to “democrat” the boy shall be met with smelly stockings at Christmas!

Hehehe! Glad you put your foot down on that one! :D

Nc, Too funny :lol::lol::lol: No mention of Cheeto stains or spilled beer :lol:

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