Man Rules.

[LEXIRX330]

Ok feel free to add to the list.

I read this on another site and it may be a repost but it's still worth a laugh.

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

We always hear " the rules"

From the female side....

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "

ON PURPOSE!

1.. Men are NOT mind readers.

(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1.. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1.If you ask us what we're thinking and we say nothing...we aren't thinking about anything. it's a guy thing you wouldn't understand.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Kyle Petree]

HAHAHA This is the best thing ever created...

Actually a year or so back when I was in High School we had a model congress and this was introduced as a bill to be made into law... it was the best debate I have ever heard.

[jcrome04]

Post a copy on the fridge. And wait till she notices hahaha

[LEXIRX330]

Post a copy on the fridge. And wait till she notices hahaha

I put a copy on my fridge! :whistles: What are you guys scared! I highlighted a few of them too!

[nc211]

Addition -

1. The garage "Man Land" is not an extension of your hobby room. It shall not, will not, and must not, smell of anything other than gasoline, motor oil, beer farts, and cigar smoke. Any attempts to add "color" in the form of flowers or plants to Man Land will result in the rolling and smoking of said items. Furthermore, any complaints about the required 42' Plasma, beer fridge, and assorted seating furniture will result in the invasion of the bonus room with said items "and associated neighborhood members of Man Land". Any infractions of said rules, will result in the implementation of rule "10-100" - aka - peeing on your shrubs!

1. All of the "you don't pay attention to me" comments are the sole reaction to the fact that you pay way too much attention to me.

1. Use the damn exhaust fan when you take a shower! Otherwise, you will be required to scrub the mold from the tile grout on a weekly basis.

1. When we say "that just makes her look trashy", what we're really saying is "damn, now that's hot"

1. Yes, it really does take us 45 minutes to "10-200". Yes, we do like to play football on our PSP during 10-200. No, we have no idea why the wireless internet keeps locking up during that time.

[LEXIRX330]

Addition -

1. The garage "Man Land" is not an extension of your hobby room. It shall not, will not, and must not, smell of anything other than gasoline, motor oil, beer farts, and cigar smoke. Any attempts to add "color" in the form of flowers or plants to Man Land will result in the rolling and smoking of said items. Furthermore, any complaints about the required 42' Plasma, beer fridge, and assorted seating furniture will result in the invasion of the bonus room with said items "and associated neighborhood members of Man Land". Any infractions of said rules, will result in the implementation of rule "10-100" - aka - peeing on your shrubs!

1. All of the "you don't pay attention to me" comments are the sole reaction to the fact that you pay way too much attention to me.

1. Use the damn exhaust fan when you take a shower! Otherwise, you will be required to scrub the mold from the tile grout on a weekly basis.

1. When we say "that just makes her look trashy", what we're really saying is "damn, now that's hot"

1. Yes, it really does take us 45 minutes to "10-200". Yes, we do like to play football on our PSP during 10-200. No, we have no idea why the wireless internet keeps locking up during that time.

Just printed those out to hang on the fridge! :D Good ones NC...Lets keep them coming.