Man...that sucks that they want to work you like that. You will be especially annoyed when you see how easy it is.
The links above by dadcat work great for instructions, but there is a RX specific one so I will attach it here, too.
RXNavi_1_.pdf
When upgrading, you simply place the disc in the drive and it updates. Easy.
One thing you will need to do differently in order to "downgrade" from the 8.1 to your old version is to reset the system.
In my 2006 RX400h you have to pull a fuse to get the system to reset. Under the hood on the driver side, you will need to remove the two trim covers, and then look for the square fuse box. In the lid of that box is a white fuse puller. Use that tool to pull the Radio1 fuse for about 2 minutes. You will know you have the right fuse if the nav system stays blank with the key in the "on" position.
So here are the steps:
1. Open up the tool compartment in the back following the instructions provided.
2. With the ignition in the "on" (do not start the vehicle) open the drive door and pull the disc if there is one.
3. Put your old disc in the drive and slide the door closed.
4. The Nav screen will say something similar to "put the correct disc in the drive"
5. Turn the ignition off.
6. Pull the Radio1 fuse and turn ignition to "on" no need to start it.
7. verify that the nav screen is not displaying anything.
8. Wait about 2 minutes (only really takes about 5 seconds to reset, but wait just to be sure)
9. Turn off the ignition and replace fuse.
10. Turn ignition to on and wait for the "Loading" screen.
11. Select your default search region and you should be ready to go.
Let us know if you have problems with the downgrade process or if you need more info on making a hybrid disc.
Good Luck!