Wow, you're not going to believe it but it's fixed!
It took all my cunning and acute sense of perception.
We purchased the car over a year ago and within 2 days my wife lost the lone key. We had a locksmith come out and make us 2 new keys. Of course, you know where this is going. My wife found the original key in the bottom of a purse and tried using it. Long story short, I gave the mechanic one of the new keys, which is why it ran just fine for him.
So, if you've found this post via search and have a crank, no spark...try using another key