Hello John,
Congratulations on the purchase of your Lexus.
In regard to washing and waxing it is my experience that washing your car at home with a water hose and quality car wash (not dish-washing liquid) yields the best results. Before waxing my ES 350 I always apply a coat of Meguires Ultimate Polish to get rid of fine scratches and swirl marks. I then follow with a coat of Meguires liquid wax. This combination has yielded the best results for me. Also, these products cost about $10 each at WAL-MART, much less than they would cost at the auto parts store. Hope this was helpful.
Good Luck.