moorebeer

I've decided to get rid of anything in my life that doesn't spark joy. Tossing half my socks - so I'll never again expect a matching pair.

Good news: I won the lottery! Bad news: I must explain to each of my wives and families what the *BLEEP* I was doing in California.

If I won the Lottery, I'd paint an old cop car flat black and PIT maneuver bad drivers into the ditch. I'd do that anyways, but I'd be rich.

The only things people are dubbed are either a Knight or a Racist.

Seem the only people with real gambling problems are the people who suck at gambling. If they weren't awful, everybody'd be proud of them.

When I get a flat tire, and I put that skinny spare on, I like to borrow one from a friend and put them both on the front. Instant Dragster.

Tellegating: When you need to give someone bad news, but you get a 3rd party to deliver it.

Too bad hippies don't offer money back guarantees. Or results. http://t.co/VZE6J0qD

Pro tip: When your wife sent you the store to buy cream, What she wants is Half and Half, and some French Vanilla Coffee Mate. Also, Milk.

The "Storage Wars" cable shows should include at least SOME actual war. Even the occasional IED would help freshen the franchise.

I've been moving stuff from my "Before I Die" list to another list. If I can do it later, why rush things? I'll be dead for a long time.

Getting ready to NASCAR at Texas Motor Speedway by quickly looking from left to right. All while being careful not to cue my GOTO 10 error.

Now that the War on Drugs has become actual wars, can't we think about how little we should care about who gets high? http://t.co/UYvL5j7S

Welcome to the Lexus forums moorebeer :)

The thing that would make everything perfect all the time is for the Obama Administration's press briefing to be true. Magically true. Poof.