OK, I did the following and am much happier with the ride.
I went to relax the back and bought a tempurpedic seat cushion that you can place over the front seat. It is called sacroease w/wedge. It makes you sit a little higher than i would prefer but after a week of driving, I got used to it. It is a day and night difference and is very comfortable. I actually feel like taking the car out now. This seat cushion cost $280. there is another one without the wedge and it is $160. They are expensive, but i figured re-doing the seats with extra memory foam will cost me in the $600 range. You can try them for 30 days and if you don't like it return it....so i decided to try since there is nothing to lose.
I decided to stick with the 18" rims but bought Michelin Latitude Tour 235/55 R18 tires. They are apparently the quietest in their class. They ride very well and there is less road noise now. They are T (110 miles) rated instead of V (130 miles). I never drive over 75-80 mph, so the T rating is fine for me. I special ordered them at Costco and had to sign a waiver saying that i understood that the ride would not be as sporty...(Duh...i didn't want it to be sporty hence i was changing them). The tires came in 2 days and Costco had $70 discount for Michelin tires.
Hope this helps others in a similar situation like me. I feel so much better now.
Having said that, I wish Lexus would listen to customer feedback and provide better seats on their flagship models. I still dont know which Lexus to buy as my next car....since i heard similar stories on the 2010 RX350's too.