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Spouses And Cars


Richard D Miller
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Disclaimer: I don't own a lexus.

Here is my problem. I am in the market for a car within the next year. I have a family of four and have been married for near ten years. Nothing causes stress like looking at cars on my wife and I. I love the pursuit of looking for cars, research and even more research. I must have been an analyst in a past life. This really upsets my wife Amanda. I present Ideas of cars to her and I get a non committal, "Thats Nice" When I try to dig for an opinion Amanda tells me that when she is ready she will go out and buy a car. There is a strong emphasis on "she will buy".

The our history has landed us some cars that fell on our laps

1983 Mazda RX7. This is the car that has remained my hobby car for the last 10 years. Ran four of the last eleven years.

1988 Beretta. Bought by my grandparents for us and dropped in our lap. decent car considering we had no choice and we needed a car.

1985 Audi 5000 turbo. Owned by a coworker $500 and thousands later it just stopped working two years later. Oddly enough one of our favorite rides.

1987 Rx7 turbo,kept for a summer and had horrible overheating problems. traded for a ...

1993 Merc Villager minivan. Enjoyed the room, but due to job situations I had to return it to the bank.

1988 Merc tracer. Owned by my brother. saw us though years of leaking ATF and poor suspension and intolerable highway noise.

1979 Cadillac deville. My grandparents old ride.Now my daily driver. They bought a 1996 Caddy STS and we got the 79. The oldest and most reliable car to date. much better than average shape, but would like to retire it for it's 30 year anniversary.

1984 Bronco 2. Another car from the family that ended up being our second car. The post reliable ford I have owned. Still a Ford though.

So we have had a bunch of POS cars. I fell in love with the lexus in the early 90's during my teen years. I remember going to an auto show and sitting in the LS400. shutting the door and having the world mute away. I have not experienced that since . I was also surprised to see these cars going for under 10,000. So I am giving the Lexus Ls400, SC400, and the LX 450 strong consideration.

I feel comfortable with the purchase of a car up to 10,000 in cost. I really dont want to buy a late model (focus or kia) car for 10k and have it worth 2k at the end of the term. I cant see the Lexi that I have mentioned earlier dropping that much more in value.

I am so excited about the possibilities of getting a Lexus. My wife doe not share this at all. Does anyones spouse dislike the Lexus in the family?

Sorry about the length. I am so frustrated. any advice?

Richard

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I don't think your spouse's problem is with the Lexus in specific, it sounds like she's just not really a car person. I love cars too, for instance when I have a lull in the middle of the day and I drive by a car dealer, I'll stop off and see what they've got on the lot. If I can convince a salesman I'm not worth their time and they'll let me take something for a spin on my own I'll do that too.

When we were first living together this would cause big problems lol. She HATED looking at cars, going to car shows, hearing about cars. I kept trying to include her in my hobby. What I finally learned was its just not her thing. Theres plenty of other stuff we share interest in and enjoy doing together, but I enjoyed my hobby more if I just enjoyed it myself.

When it came time for her to buy her car...she bought what she wanted and I had no say in the matter at all (her Prius). In fact...she wouldn't even let me drive it when we first got it. That changed when she was faced with the idea of having to service...fuel it...maintain it...wash it...and insure it without any help from me ;)

So the answer is, there may not be much you can do about it...

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i know, i know. I see people who buy cars based on emotion all the time. My wife's friend bought a New Jeep and it sucked. In the shop all the time. I also believe the best values in used autos are in the luxury segment. A Cadillac has most likely been better taken care of than a Chevy ,for example. I can't stand mistakes made from lack of planning.

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Have you let her drive one?

More specifically, an LS400?

That will go a lot further than words in most cases.

Buying a car is usually a deep visceral thing for a lot of people of the *ahem* fairer s*x, and words and research usually do not impress.

Take one for spin!

It WILL be the best car purchase you've ever made.

Just have it checked out prior to signing anything.

Good luck, and welcome to the LOC.

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the LS was the model I first fell in love with, In fact my first model car was a LS400 snap kit. I thought the SC was nice but the LS is the flagship and no use going for second best. So went the mind of a 15 year old. I now feel the SC has aged better from an aesthetics point. If I may ask why the LS over the SC? The LX has its own merits, but the SC/ LS comparison is more even.

We had looked at a LS a few years back, but the kids were being a distraction and neither of us really got a chance to just ... relax. A key element in luxury car shopping. One good note is I showed her an online demo of the seat memory, a feature our Audi had. Amanda is just over five feet and I am 5'9. memory seats are a big sell. Amanda is a bit of a car person, more than the average girl.

wow,

After the last eleven years together, I have tried to keep things fresh. Amanda is not adventurous, and our circle of friends is small. Hell, I have no close friends. I have been very blessed to have Amanda as my friend. I want to share the discovery about different cars together because I know she does enjoy them to an extent. This is my way to share an experience.Relationship Experiences are something that has came to a halt since the kids and wages of the past. Im trying to find adventure in the little things and she is tired of me and my drive for cars.

Yeah, she should like the LS...

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The LS is an excellent choice. I've owned several LS's, and my wife still has one today. I've also owned one of the earlier SC models, but never the LX. The LX's aren;t very popular, and in my opinion the earlier LX's weren't up to par with the rest of the Lexus lineup.

And as far as your wife not liking cars, as hurtful as it is (trust me, i feel it too) -there really isn't anything you can do. As SW mentioned in an earlier post, she's just not a car gal.

My wife couldn't care less if she was driving a Camry or an LS. Just as long as it has 4 wheels and turns on everyday, she's satisfied. She treats her LS like it's an old Buick, spills things, leaves crumbs, folders, the back of her car literally looks like an office. She's on the road a lot, so i guess it kind of is.

The important thing, is that she drives something that's safe and comfortable for her and anyone in it. My wife and i have been married since we were merely teenagers- and her opinions of cars haven't changed a bit. Whenever it came time to buy her a car, i would always have to be the one to "pick it out" or "go get it". To her, buying a car was an inconvenience, sort of like how "clothes shopping" is an inconvenience for us guys. To a woman, clothes shopping is the highlight of their week. Before i purchased my LS400 in 89/90, my wife and i thought Volvo's and BMW's were good cars. now that i've driven Lexus', we (meaning i..) can't go back. I'm sure if i went out in the garage and switched my RX and her LS she would take the RX by mistake... maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but you get my point...

SW is also correct when he says to enjoy the car-loving hobby on your own- it'll make it more meaningful. I've taken my wife and daughters to a car show once- AH big mistake. They just spent most of the time in the food courts, leaving me and my son all by ourselves checking the new cars out. When it came time for my son to get a car, after a few years of beating up a volvo, we BOTH decided to go with an LS430. He was very excited to get it, and that made me feel good to know someone else was sharing my love for cars.

If she's fine not getting a Lexus, or any car, right now- then that's fine. You can't force her to get something she doesn't want to. If the car is mainly for you, just get it. If she goes out and buys a dress you don't find necessarily appealing, it's the same thing- you don't need to wear it :P

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I'd consider the LS or ES personally.

My Wife's not a car person per se....but she know I love them & everything that goes along with them. She enjoy's going to the auto shows, occasional dealership etc with me. She also know's what she want's in a vehicle generally speaking & then it's TO'd (turned over) to me for research, advice & off to find one in the colour & equipment she would like. Because of my advice she know's to stay clear of some brands (IE: anything Chrysler, many european makes etc) & to add certain ones to her short list (Lexus, Subaru, Toyota Etc). ;)

I've also taught her the importance of regular maintenance.....that I do mostly myself now that I think about it lol. :lol::blink:

:cheers:

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After the last eleven years together, I have tried to keep things fresh. Amanda is not adventurous, and our circle of friends is small. Hell, I have no close friends. I have been very blessed to have Amanda as my friend. I want to share the discovery about different cars together because I know she does enjoy them to an extent. This is my way to share an experience.Relationship Experiences are something that has came to a halt since the kids and wages of the past. Im trying to find adventure in the little things and she is tired of me and my drive for cars.

Try the relationship advise forum :rolleyes:

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Maybe someone needs to write Dr. Phil and let me do a show on " How do i make my wife love the Lexus as much as I do?...lol..I would watch it. Also would have to take notes... everytime someone comes over and I start showing them around our cars..I get the I will be on the deck or in the house when your done look...lol..and it looks something like this smiley.. <_<

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Like my wife has said in the past...if my cars could do what she does I wouldnt need her...thats not true...although if she sees anything on Ebay as far as aftermarket that Lexus or my Camaro can retrofit that can fullfill that end of the argument...she has standing orders to by it...lmao... :lol::lol::lol:

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In general guys like cars, girls not so much.'

In the words of random caveman.

Oh no sorry I might not of made myself completely clear...my wifie loves cars...just doesnt like cleaning them, maintaning them, polishing or waxing them, for sure doesnt like working on them, and in general gas is a burden....but she loves cars...looking and driving is where she is best suited... and cant complain... the occasional vacum and run at the car wash ( touchless...cant stand brushes hitting them..sorry personal preference) helps keep them atleast dust free..lol... sorry I gave the impression she just didnt like them... :lol:

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