I Have Some Important News To Tell You

[denslexusgx470]

Looong story people..

I left on vacation for the Philippines on July 23. Now I'm pretty sure it was suppose to be just a "vacation". Ended up my parents, behind my back, decided to RELOCATE me and make me stay here! Now they're forcing me to stay here in the Philippines to study and supposidly take care of my 90 year old grandma and take over the responsibilities of our rental properties over here...

Anyways at first I thought this is MORALLY WRONG to FORCE me to stay here.. Then I slowly learned that my dad is just going to be here for a few months only JUST TO GET ME STARTED on my college and stuffs here.. AT first I thought he was going to be here most of the time so I thought "why do I have to be here when he's here to take care of things" but I slowly learned that he's gonna be back in Fresno CA in maybe 3 or 4 months to go back and live with my mom..

Anyways I still think it's somewhat WRONG to force me to live somewhere where I don't want to live! Ok, MAYBE if they gave me an idea that this is a possibility, I would have better "prepared" myself for this trip and would have at least brought more of my stuffs and maybe said my last goodbye to my friends and stuffs... But NOOO I didn't even get a chance to say "later" to my dojo friends, and i didn't even get to have a last lunch or something with my friends! Heck, I even owe someone lunch still, and I had the whole summer to do it, but I ended up not being able to fulfill it.. so yea..

But I'm getting used to life over here... What I totally miss are 3 things: 1. MY cars (a 4Runner at a car exchange is running at about $65k) 2. My friends (especially ALEX) and 3. The humid-free weather in Fresno CA! I really really can't stand this humid weather! I mean the weather may be only about 82F BUT the humidity really kills me!

Anyways since now I'm over here, RYA, I've decided to finally tell Alex one of these days about how I feel.. Cuz Idk if i ever mentioned this before, but I've NEVER told her that I liked her! I met a relative in the southern island and what's weird or cool is that she became friends with Alex thru myspace so they have been messaging each other lately. She eventually gave Alex a hint about my feelings, and then she asked about our friendship, but Alex mentioned (in her message to my relative) that "I don't see why our friendship should change. Denny's a cool guy and he's very nice. I don't see our friendship dying." (this was said in a message full of spelling errors btw lol) so yea.. After my relative forwarded this message, I had more GUTS to tell her!

Oh and one more thing, after my relative told Alex, Alex responded to it and what I understand from her message IS that if Tim wasn't around, she would have liked me! Actually ok here's her message...

"well i had that feeling that denny likes me but he also knows i have a boyfriend. denny is a great guy and i get along wiht him very well. and i do miss him too but i have a boyfriend. and my boyfriend has been loyal and very respectable to me. so it would be fair nor nice to leave him for denny. plus denny is over there now for a long time. and i hate long distance relationships. well anyways i have been with my boyfriend since may and we always acted like a couple but we never truly decited that he was my boyfriend untill june 3rd. but its like we have been together since may. he says he really loves me and i do love him too. he is a really great guy. i dont thing that denny likes him, nor thinks highly of him. but anyways i am glad that everything is going good over there. i got this long messege from denny but i will have to write him back becuase my mom needs my help wiht they kids. so tell denny i said hi. and give him a hug for me. ok talk to you later"

:cries: But it's ok... I'm 6000k miles away so it's over... Now im gonna call her next week and FINISH this case...

Oh yea btw, if you guys have any questions or anything, I have LIMITED internet right now because my grandma's computer died and I have limited access (when i can get my hands on a computer with internet) UNTIL I buy myself a new computer which I hope to accomplish within the next couple of weeks. If you guys have any questions or concerns, I can be reached (if ur willing to spend to txt me, because I am if you guys are lol. just dial EXACTLY as I give it to you) at 011639286810525

Here are a few photos to keep you guys interested... lol...

Some cheap car show

Suzuki APV

Ssangyong

10 seater, 4 rows of seats! sheez...

MY current ride... 1997 Honda CRV, had 10,600 kilometers when I came here, now it's almost at 12,000 kilometers :)

[Rya]

I left on vacation for the Philippines on July 23. Now I'm pretty sure it was suppose to be just a "vacation". Ended up my parents, behind my back, decided to RELOCATE me and make me stay here! Now they're forcing me to stay here in the Philippines to study and supposidly take care of my 90 year old grandma and take over the responsibilities of our rental properties over here...

Wow...... I don't know what to say. I'm completely shocked that you wern't told that your "vacation" was actually a move. Maybe it's a cultural thing where your parents decided not to tell you & something they expected you to do after high school?? I just am wondering why I guess. You were so excited about college, not getting to say good-bye to your friends, not seeing Alex again..... wow.

So are you going to be pulling out of FSU to go somewhere else? Good news about Alex knowing - now your heart can be free of the "what-if", especially since you kinda live far apart now. Are your parents going to be sending your stuff to you at least? I know you're mad, but are you ok with living over there permanently (at least for now). Do you think you'll return to CA ever?

[lenore]

I left on vacation for the Philippines on July 23. Now I'm pretty sure it was suppose to be just a "vacation". Ended up my parents, behind my back, decided to RELOCATE me and make me stay here! Now they're forcing me to stay here in the Philippines to study and supposidly take care of my 90 year old grandma and take over the responsibilities of our rental properties over here...

Wow...... I don't know what to say. I'm completely shocked that you wern't told that your "vacation" was actually a move. Maybe it's a cultural thing where your parents decided not to tell you & something they expected you to do after high school?? I just am wondering why I guess. You were so excited about college, not getting to say good-bye to your friends, not seeing Alex again..... wow.

So are you going to be pulling out of FSU to go somewhere else? Good news about Alex knowing - now your heart can be free of the "what-if", especially since you kinda live far apart now. Are your parents going to be sending your stuff to you at least? I know you're mad, but are you ok with living over there permanently (at least for now). Do you think you'll return to CA ever?

I too am in shock, where in the phillippines are you. I visisted subic bay (old navy days) and yes it is beautiful, but very humid. I flew into what was Clark AFB and took the country trip...I am still amazed at what has happened, I know your family culture is very different, but at least they should have given you a heads up....Please continue your post, I have enjoyed your saga, brings back the younger days in us old folks. Good luck and send some pictures of the area would be interesting to see the changes from the 70's to now....

[Rya]

Please continue your post, I have enjoyed your saga, brings back the younger days in us old folks.

Hehe - that's for sure! Young love... :)

[denslexusgx470]

Thanks guys for keeping me happy. But this choice WASNT a cultural thing.. It's more of a family thing that I was forced into taking over the responsibilities of my grandma and taking care of her, when in common sense it should be MY DAD (it's his mom! lol) that should be here to take care of my grandma and the rentals... But when i found out that my dad wont be here for long, ok I feel like it makes sense...

Anyways what i miss the most are (maybe i mentioned it already) 3 things: 1. MY GX and 4R, 2. My friends and 3. The humid free weather... YES IT'S RIDICULOUSLY DAMN HUMID over here!

But i will keep you all updated and post pix from time to time.... so hope u guys will still keep me in the LOC family! I havent been on much lately cuz my grandma's computer monitor died so until I buy a new computer i wont be able to sign on daily like i used to... but dont worry I'll still be around!

I've gotten used to life over here... It's not bad... Servings are small though which sucks, things are EXPENSIVE over here, in the electronics sense, and the traffic is RIDICULOUS over here... 10x worse than New York or LA traffic! But no worries, I'm a typical Filipino driver now (if any of u guys have been here lately, and know how Filipinos drive over here, imagine me being one of those now! lol)

Funny I got pulled over today actually! Cop said that I crossed the intersection when the light was red, but in reality the light was still yellow and the light changed when i was in the middle! My driver tried to talk him out of it but he couldn't, so I talked to him and he let me off with a warning... Whew! :whistles: The style over here is that u get a ticket, and they take ur license away and you have to go to the station to pick it up PLUS pay for the fines! But I think the main thing that "got me off the hook" was my California license! I got away with the idea that I'm just a visitor and that I won't be gone for long.. lol.. So i'm planning on having two licenses, a local and my CA so when it's simple stuffs, I can use my local while in "emergency" situations I use my CA license. lol..

Oh and btw, I live in Muntinlupa city, really close to the NAIA airport when you guys land over here. ;)

[smooth1]

Yo Denny, I read this post the other day, and frankly I had to wait ahile before posting, because and let me state that this is just my point of view, right or wrong, it's just how I see it.

Dude, you've been shang-hai'd!!!!!! By your own family!!!!!!!!!!! That is soooooooooooooooooooo wrong. I would be on the next plane back just on principal alone!!!! Never mind the family thing, and they need you and all that, there is no way in God's green earth then.They should have included you, talked to you and let you make your own choice. Even if they knew it would be a no, and that's why they did it. If it's your dad's mom or your mom's mom, it's their responsibility to care for her, not yours WITHOUT ASKING YOU!!!!!! From no other perspective can I see what they did as right, or even ok. That would be like you going and selling the rental properties and putting the cash in your account. When you parents found out and charged you, I would tell them" Oh, I thought we made large decissions like this without needing to talk about them."

[indiasfinest]

while i respect your parents and in no way talking bad about them, i kinda agree with smooth1, however this is not my place to say so i wish you good luck in your new environment

[Rya]

however this is not my place to say so i wish you good luck in your new environment

AGREED!!! This is a family thing between Denny & his parents. I think we all agree that maybe there was a better way of doing this - you know talking about the situation upfront, openly & honestly. One thing to keep in mind - your G-Ma is 90.... she won't live forever so that reason isn't a permanent holder to keep you over there (hubby's great aunt died today - 101!!). See how you feel about handeling the rental properties - you might end up liking it. What we're you going to study in college? This is going to give you one hell of an education. And look on the bright side - you have told us about all of your fun times you've been having over there. Ride it out..... you're only 18, make the most of your experience and don't spend all of you rmoney!!!

[smooth1]

however this is not my place to say so i wish you good luck in your new environment

AGREED!!! This is a family thing between Denny & his parents. I think we all agree that maybe there was a better way of doing this - you know talking about the situation upfront, openly & honestly. One thing to keep in mind - your G-Ma is 90.... she won't live forever so that reason isn't a permanent holder to keep you over there (hubby's great aunt died today - 101!!). See how you feel about handeling the rental properties - you might end up liking it. What we're you going to study in college? This is going to give you one hell of an education. And look on the bright side - you have told us about all of your fun times you've been having over there. Ride it out..... you're only 18, make the most of your experience and don't spend all of you rmoney!!!

Ok, I agree with everything here if they had talked about it first. I know this is a family thing. I understand that this is really between them, but that doesn't change my perception of this. Even if they came to Denny and asked and he said no, and they forced all this anyway, and now he's over there. I would agree because atleast they gave him the options first. Remember, he is 18, and not 10, or 15. He's 18. He gets a say in every part of his life from now on.

And, I also want to add that ( and remember, I don't know Denny personally, I don't know his family at all, I don't know that we are getting all of the story here even.) But from what I have read here about how you (Denny) are handling this I would ask, would you have gone if they had asked you and explained the situation? If say 6 months before leaving for the Phillipines your mom and dad said here is the situation, and this is what we need, can you help us?,,,would you have?

[Rya]

Remember, he is 18, and not 10, or 15. He's 18. He gets a say in every part of his life from now on.

Until you get married.... you may think you're getting a say in your life, but you're not. <_<

[RFeldes]

I think Denny is well centered and will figure this one out for himself.. and as was said, we don't know the "whole story" nor is it any of our business. Good luck Denny I have faith in that you will do the right thing. The decisions made at this age are ones we carry throughout our lives.

[Rya]

I think Denny is well centered and will figure this one out for himself.. and as was said, we don't know the "whole story" nor is it any of our business. Good luck Denny I have faith in that you will do the right thing. The decisions made at this age are ones we carry throughout our lives.

Here here!

[SW03ES]

I agree with RF, we don't know the whole story and its really none of our business anyways.

The real question is, what do you want out of the situation Denny? Any advice we could give you would be worthless until we know that. Smooth is right, you're an adult and this is your decision to make.

[denslexusgx470]

Thanks guys for all your concerns and critical thinking. Personally there MUST be a bigger reason why my parents are FORCING me to stay here... Honestly I don't know (find a Filipina Gf, experience life here, parents "gradual" retirement, idk!) but as for now, the story is like I said, to take care of 90 yr old granny, take over responsibilities of rentals, and obviously go to school at the same time...

Now at first, I thought my dad was going to stay here for most of the year also (like 9 or 10 months in a year, then 2 or 3 months in Fresno) BUT since he mentioned that he's only staying here till I get my school all settled, then I felt a little better that, ok maybe they are right in some sense and that I'm the one that's going to take care of things here.. Because at first, if my dad was going to be here for a majority part of the year, why the hell do I have to be here also! Why can't I just stay in Fresno? My mom's going to be by herself for most of the year? But since that's not the case, then it makes a little more sense...

I still DONT AGREE with this decision at hand, because they said it was a "family decision" with missing members in the vote, but eh, it'll all come back to them someday I guess.... Just wait, idk hopefully it wont be that bad, but GOOD will prevail out of this someday.... Who knows! I would be HAPPY to live here and stay here permanently IF they discussed this WITH ME... NOT BEHIND MY BACK....

What *BLEEP*es me off now is that when we go around and talk to their friends and they find out that I'm going to study here, they say "WE" decided on this (where's the WE when I wasnt included?!?!?!) that Denny is going to study here.... uhhh ahem.... excuse me, YOU DECIDED on this, NOT ME, NOT DENNY......

But eh, I'll get used to it i guess... Definitely I gotta say, Filipina girls are my type. :P hahaha! When i visit schools, I can't just, wow, can't even explain it... lol.. :whistles:

Oh yea, I know you guys are probably SICK of hearing anymore Alex stories.... But I FINALLY TOLD HER.... :o :o :o Earlier today I was talking to her, trying to get a conversation going, then my dad had to ruin the conversation by telling me that we had to go to lunch already, HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME so I would have timed my phone call perfectly, but nooooo my parents (or just my dad in this case) have to ruin EVERYTHING I plan... ugh... So after that, my dad fought over the wheel of my car, and I had to sit my lazy !Removed! the whole time! ugh.. That's when I decided to TEXT Alex from my cell, and I told her thru text... Then when we got to the hotel where we were going to eat, my dad went to the bathroom for a second so I called her up and asked her how she felt... SHE WAS OK WITH IT!! OMG... I'm totally surprised.. no awkwardness or anything bad! She took it lightly and idk, I didnt ask her how she felt but I'm just glad we're still going to be friends even though I'm this far away, and that I TOLD HER that I liked her even me knowing that she is with that idiot Tim....

But anyways enough of that. Thanks for the warm wishes and I'll keep you guys updated! I just really REALLY miss my cars... everytime I see a C230 or 118i (haha no such thing in North America but here it's available lol) they think they're like an S550 or something, or what, and that's when I wished I had my GX or 4Runner to drive around here... :( I guess I'll have to be happy with my 97 CRV.... My stereo deck is what's making this car exciting cuz up till TODAY I'm still figuring out how to use every function of it. lol.. :P

P.S. I just realized, that in my CRV photo I posted earlier, my grandma is that old lady right next to it, the one in the yellow dress... lol

[SW03ES]

Personally, I'd be on the first plane home but thats me. You're going to college, its a time for you to enjoy your life, not care for your Grandmother or manage rental properties.

[smooth1]

Personally, I'd be on the first plane home but thats me. You're going to college, its a time for you to enjoy your life, not care for your Grandmother or manage rental properties.

Well said!!!!

Okay, first, RF, and SW, he brought this issue to a public board. So the issue on the board is everyones business if they choose to reply. If I were to call his parents and give them the business and so fourth, that would be out of line and not anyones business.

The issue I was taking up was the fact that they never consulted with Denny, and included him in the process. I very much agree with RF when it was said that Denny seems very well centered. Which is why they're not talking to him about it and giving him a chance or beleiving in him irks me even more!!!!! The mere fact that he is handling this the way he is just proves that they showed poor judgement in Denny's character!!!! I do want to make sure that I state that I don't beleive that Denny's parents are bad people in anyway. I actually think the opposite. I think that Denny and his family seem very close and well valued. But that doesn't mean that they don't make mistakes, which is what I think happened here. We aren't talking about manipulating the older son into babysitting a sibling for the evening here. THEY MOVED HIM OUT OF THE COUNTRY!!!! He never got to wrap up his personal affairs, say goodbyes, take the stuff he wanted, etc.etc. I would have gone thru the roof!!!!!!! People on death row get more!

But if they had pulled him aside and talked it out. Maybe even did some "bargaining" so they had an understanding. A plan that they were all on the same page with. Or, they came to him and said this is our only choice, and he said no, and they "pressured" him to go, and sort of "made" him, I could get on board with that. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do for our families. But to be blindsided like that is wrong. I think trust is one of the most important fibers that hold us together, and to breech that like this, is wrong. They Lied to him. Anyway you look at it.

With all that said, Denny, I'm glad to hear your making the best of it. I understand your doing what your doing for your family and I commend you for that. So, what is the next step? You said your dad will be there for a few months and then he is leaving you to care for rentals and his mom, and get you started in college. Have you been to the university yet? do you have any campus choices?

and btw, after they leave, I say drop the motor out of the CRV, complete revamp with twin turbos and a dropped suspension. Maybe big fuzzy dice off the mirror, custom paint job, and 20''s. Then you won't miss the old rides so much. ;)

[denslexusgx470]

Haha.. Thanks Smooth1. Hey this is all I've got so might as well enjoy it, right?!?! I mean if someone gave me a beer but there wasn't any cups and ice available, will you reject it because of that?? lol.. :P

With all that said, I have been around the universities here but I still have to take a few entrance exams, which is more like the SAT for us.. I'm going to be an IRREGULAR student because I start on their 2nd semester, because first semester started back in June! So it's all messed up really, I tried to tell my parents that I should finish my frosh year of college in Fresno, then come here for my soph year, but NOOOOO they wouldn't listen. At least in that way, I don't end up wasting my precious education time just because of my parents' impulsive decisions.. I mean I would have been OPENED to this decision IF they discussed this with me IN PERSON and given enough warning... Now it seems like I was sent to Iraq w/o at least a pistol or a knife to kill! lol....

Sw, yes I know it's time for me to go to college and not take care of other BS like rentals and stuff, but they SACRIFICED me and told me to sacrifice just to help my granny out! sheez... Well I have no choice and I know someday I'll be rewarded with much greater things HOPEFULLY.

And as for my CRV, haha, maybe I'll just try to influence my grandma to get me a new Toyota Fortuner or a Toyota Land Cruiser PRADO. :) But that $65,000 4runner just makes my mouth water more and more when I see it everytime I drive by that car exchange :chairshot: lol But I still miss my "cheap offroad" I used to do with my 4Runner! My CRV can't go offroad! grrr... lol

[denslexusgx470]

Decided to take some new "mug shots" lol

[Rya]

Decided to take some new "mug shots" lol

:D

So can you take the same classes or similar to what you were going to take?

[indiasfinest]

wow looks like you live in a nice neighborhood

[denslexusgx470]

Decided to take some new "mug shots" lol

:D

So can you take the same classes or similar to what you were going to take?

hmmm, good question Rya. lol.. I think my classes should be somewhat similar to what I was going to take at Fresno State.. except the Filipino (aka Tagalog) language which is going to KILL me because I only know how to speak it, but I have a hard time reading it and writing it.. so yea, we'll see

wow looks like you live in a nice neighborhood

Thanks Jay.. yea I live in a 7000 acre gated subdivision (there are 3 gates u can enter and exit the subdivision lol) with LIVE guards at the gate 24/7 with firearms.. This subdivision im in is like a min-America... You've got ALL the rich ppl of the Philippines (we're just one of the smaller potatoes here lol) who have a lot more than what all our riches here on this forum could add up to! I mean, they've got houses that can cost up to a $1M, cars like Bentleys, Ferraris, Lambos, Aston Martins, etc... and remember they have to pay the customs tax which in the end would turn out to be like paying for the car 3 times! So yes, I'm very fortunate enough to AT LEAST be able to live in a nice neighborhood... Heck, you can even leave your house unlocked and car unlocked and not worry about anyone entering and stealing your stuff! lol..

[indiasfinest]

yea, well atleast you live in a nice area

[Rya]

except the Filipino (aka Tagalog) language which is going to KILL me because I only know how to speak it, but I have a hard time reading it and writing it.. so yea, we'll see

Well that would make it a bit more challenging wouldn't it. What a pain!!

with LIVE guards at the gate 24/7 with firearms..

That would be a bit of culture shock. Is it because people with less $ try to steel stuff from the rich people?

[SW03ES]

I'd be on the first plane home.

One thing you need to think about. What do you ultimately want to do when you grow up/where do you want to be? If you want to return to the US and build a life and career here, do you think going to college in there is going to be detrimental?

[denslexusgx470]

I'd be on the first plane home.

One thing you need to think about. What do you ultimately want to do when you grow up/where do you want to be? If you want to return to the US and build a life and career here, do you think going to college in there is going to be detrimental?

Honestly, I don't see how it will affect my future, I mean after I finish some course here I can still come back to America and pursue my career there.. It's just that I think it was totally immoral for my parents to decide where I should study AND especially doing it behind my back.. Like that one culture, is it the Chinese culture or what, that the parents choose who the kids will marry? I forgot what culture that was but my situation feels very similar to it..

Rya, lol, there are a lot of lower $$$ people out there in my country, but gated subdivisions here in the Philippines ALL have at LEAST one live guard at the gate... But if you live in a non gated subdivision, there's no guard obviously. The guard system is actually pretty nice, you can't enter UNLESS you know someone inside, and they have to leave their driver's license at the gate and you pick it up when you leave. But it's only MY subdivision that has 3 gates with an army load of guards because for one thing, it's the BIGGEST subdivision, plus a lot of celebrities and government officials live in here with ridiculously filthy riches! I'll try and take some pix when I can of my area around here. ;)

Plus it's only in my subdivision that the guards at the gate CALL the owner's house to double confirm if the visitor is real or an intruder. Other subdivision usually just take your license and let you in as long as you mention the name of any resident inside.

Currently I'm actually kinda busy looking for another car. :P Reason is because the Mitsubishi Strada we have is kinda having some problems already, not going to get rid of it, but we need another car. Yes I still have the CRV but the CRV is light duty for the streets here so I'm lookin at any rear wheel drive vehicle right now. lol.. MY chocies are (not available in USA but you can search them on the net) either the Toyota Innova or Mitsubishi Fuzion (yes i know it looks ugly but it's practical for it's price)

Toyota Innova (sorry for the horrible cell picture, it was at a car exchange and the window was right next to the car)

Mitsubishi Fuzion