I finally located the problem which was the remote tuner.
This Lexus has the head up front and the remote tuner in the trunk and a remote amplifier in the trunk too.
I went with an aftermarket double DIN head from JVC and a kit from Installer.com, the mva-23L from Beatsonic.
The kit was expensive but it had the plastic piece and brackets and wiring harness.
Very easy to install. Match up the wires, good directions for that, install the unit and now we have music again.
Oh yes, this head allows a thumbdrive to be inserted from the front and it is a jiff to load the drive with music from the computer and take it with us.
If I can do it anyone can.